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People on social media sites
tend to glorify things that hurt.
They brag about things
that people struggle with.

Mental illness is not a label.
It is not a badge nor a privilege
or something you have to earn.

People suffer,
they battle voices in their heads
that they do not even recognize.

People struggle to tame
their inner demons
and keep up an image
that the world expects them to uphold.

Mental illness is not cute,
being so anxious you cannot speak is not a quirk.
Relying on people to take care of you is not romantic.

News flash!
Your life is not an episode of Skins
The idea of Effy and Freddie is fictional,
no one is going to save you.

We go home and muffle our cries
while dragging razors across our wrists
chasing pills with bottles of vodka.

Our thoughts turn on us
Like a loaded gun,
and we are stuck forever
in a game of Russian roulette.

We wear long sleeves,
and try to drown out voices with headphones.
We tremble at the thought of giving up the chemicals
we have become dependent on.

People write poems about suicide
and death like it's beautiful,
but your death is not an after party.
You won't be happier, you'll be nonexistent.

You are not Amanda Todd or Olivia.
You won't be remembered forever.
The people who kept you in their memory will die out
and no tongue will ever again taste the sound of your name.

People won't sell your thoughts or your words
no one will think they should have listened.
They will think they should have spoke
And even then they will be told they couldn't have saved you.

There is nothing romantic about waking up
in a hospital bed after your fifth suicide attempt
with no one holding your hand.

No one will feel bad for you when you need stitches
because this time you cut too deep,
or when you have a seizure because you overdosed
...again.

No one will stroke your hair or cradle you
and proceed to kiss it all better.
You'll learn to survive on your own.

So this is for everyone with ADHD,
who gets told they aren't suffering
they are just hyper.

Because no one knows that your'e up all night
doing homework that took everyone else 5 minutes
or that your medication makes you feel like you have no energy.
No one knows the hours that go into tutoring because no matter how hard you tried
you couldn't pay attention during a block scheduled class.

This is for my schizophrenic best friend
who has to hide his illness from his own mom
because he is afraid to disappoint her.

Because she would not understand
that the voices don't sleep
or that you struggle to maintain friendships sometimes.
That even in your sleep your hands find their way to blades,
and you sometimes wake up to bloody sheets.

This is for the victims of bipolar disorder,
who get told they're just being bitchy,
or asked if it's their time of the month.

No one knows how often you and your best friend fight,
because you go from depressed to manic before you can finish a thought.
Or that you cut your beautiful wrists in your bathroom at night
wishing you'd had the courage to go just a little deeper.

This is for everyone struggling with Anorexia,
who get told it's just a phase
or that they aren't even fat.

I know no one sees the distorted vision of that gorgeous body
that you spit on when you look in the mirror.
People don't realize that however irrational
you believe one touch of bad food will make you instantly fat.

This is for my boyfriend,
who also struggles with borderline personality
and is scared he will never find a place in society.

I know how it feels to plaster on the emotion you think is correct,
to learn moods and behaviors to appear more normal.
I know how the voices can be overwhelming
and make you second guess your every decision.

People think these things are labels,
or they are something to wear with pride
and to advertise to the world.

This is not a fad or a trend,
we will not get over this.
It's not a matter of dropping the act.
Stop promoting it like it is.
My friend Berto picked the title, he admired me skins reference.

CRITIQUES APPRECIATED (:

It really upsets me that I have to write this but please do not send me any hate for writing this. I have received comments on the poem, on my page and notes. The poem IS NOT saying people with mental illness boast about it it is saying people who say they have something wrong when they don't do. There are over 200 hundred comments on this poem all from people who understood that, so for the few that don't- well there it is.
If you dislike it fine, it was a blunt truth, but do not degrade me or put me down due to my art. I don't do it to any of you.

For those of you who have been encouraging and lovely and supportive, thank you. ^ That was not directed at you (:


Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-09
Your life is not a British television show by HecticHarmony supports what is often glossed over and glamourised. Also Suggested by: Shady-Lady90 ( Suggested by darksapphiredrop and Featured by inknalcohol )
:icona-panda-girl:
A-Panda-Girl Featured By Owner May 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That was beautiful.
Reply
:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
thankyou. (:
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:iconrauhlthemlevi:
rauhlthemLevi Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh God, this makes me cry every time i read it, I always thought that I go through this by myself, that no one knows what it feels like, you seriously changed the way I look at things, I wish i could thank you personally for this writing.
Reply
:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad that my writting touches people in the way it touched you.
Thankyou for your kindness. *hugs you and pets your hair*

It'll be okay my little lilac blossom. If you ever need anything I am here for you.
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:iconthemetapony:
TheMetaPony Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love this. I keep saying myself that ADHD isn't a real mental illness it's just a way for doctors to get money.
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ADHD is a real illness..
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:iconthemetapony:
TheMetaPony Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Then tell me oh wise one, is the drug for this so called illness worth these symptoms?   www.childmind.org/en/posts/art…
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:iconfruittella94:
fruittella94 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014
Please, don't be so bloody rude and patronising. It's not clever and frankly, not needed. 

Don't paint everyone with the same brush, just because you've read something on-line, doesn't mean it applies to everyone. How gullible could someone be? 

Medication can seriously help someone, take it from experience, so just because you've sat on your arse and Googled something, doesn't mean you're right. Now, by all means I'm not saying everyone has to type extremely nice comments on here and make the girl feel super happy with herself, because by all means, people should be allowed to voice their opinions, but you know, have a bit of respect and make it constructive criticism, rather than blatant, unneeded abuse.  

Also, this clearly wasn't directed at everyone, just a few narrow minded individuals, who wouldn't know how to accept something different to their beliefs if it jumped up and roundhoused kicked them in the face.  
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ya okay number 1 I am really tired of being criticized over this freaking poem by people WHO COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT!!
If you have nothing nice to say simply don't say anything. Don't be all sarcastic and like oh wise one just because you don't like my poem.

Also nowhere in that poem did I say people needed nor should be on medication. I simply explained in one part how medication could make someone feel (from experience by the way) and actually pretty much made the point you are throwing at me that meds make ppl feel shitty sometimes. And "so called illness" are you kidding me?!? Do you know how many people you probably offended just now by minimizing what they go through because it is something you don't think is right?

But as a psychology major let me state, not all meds do that and medication alone is not a fic but medication saves lives. So please go take your criticism and ignorance elsewhere. Please.
Reply
:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
And you not liking a medication doesn't mean ADHD isn't an illness. Ppl don't like chemo it makes them feel like shit but it saves lives doesn't it? And it doesn't mean cancer isn't real. 
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:iconthemetapony:
TheMetaPony Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're right but you know what? The guy who created ADHD said himself while dying that it was a fake illness. Do you know why kids dont pay attention and are hyper? Because they are freaking kids!
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:iconfruittella94:
fruittella94 Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
I think people also stopped reading after you said "You're right." Because I know I did. 
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
okay so number 1. You do not invent mental illnesses. They are discover and then tested and learned about but you do not invent it.
And ppl other than kids have ADHD. my econ professor was in his sixties and took medication for his ADHD, im 21 and I have ADHD. 

This isn't really something worth arguing about so again please stop with the negativity and the picking fights. I won't be replying anymore.
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconivanradev:
IvanRadev Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
Just dropped by to say you wrote a wonderful piece! I must say, as artists we should never "advertise" habits like cutting and/or drug use (and others) as something that is cool or makes you somehow interesting. I was watching this interview on Vh1 with Taylor Momsen, who pretty much says through her art and words that you should be proud if you are on crystal, anorexic and a cutter. I actually have a close friend who unfortunately likes her a bit too much and so I can say with certainty that people seek fame through methods that harm others.
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well i was in no way saying i condone it or ppl should be proud. I do hope you didn't take it that way. I don't think people should feel shame or anything for dealing with these things I was just more saying its not okay to pretend you have a probelm if you don't just for attention.

I hope your friend is okay ):
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:iconivanradev:
IvanRadev Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Professional General Artist
No, no, I didn't take it that way at all! I mostly thought it was slam poetry against people who do. Like the celebrities on TV who overtly brag about their drug habits or artists that use "cut my wrists" or similar expressions to express some kind of drama. 

I guess your intention was a little different, but you have a legit point in that.

I haven't seen her in more than a year now, hopefully she is OK :)
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ya it bothers me when ppl use it to get famous. Like Demi lovato. She is a sweet girl I think but like she did camp rock and then pretty much that was it but then she came out and said she was a cutter with an eating disorder and all of a sudden she was famous.  And I guess I get that she advocates for it now but it's just. I'm like do you know how many other girls are suffering with this? And your using to get talked about in tabloids? C'mon now.

But everyone loves her so much and looks up to her and I'm like ugh no. Don't you see?!??

Just try to remember that not everybody who does those things does it for attention and a lot of celebrities speak out against it. Like Austin Carlile (: and Gerard Way (:
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:iconaverage-wierdo:
average-wierdo Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this has said what i was aching to say for years
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:iconjaquina:
Jaquina Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I think I have to admit that I had a phase like thinking that I am mentally ill, but then two hours hours later or so it changes into "i'm just exaggerating it" thoughts. This went up and down for a few weeks, but know I think I'm completly over it, that means that I only rely on what my psychologist will tell me and not anymore rely on stupid self-diagnosis, because they can ruin everythhing.  Now I feel so sorry about having this stupid thoughts of having a mental ilness, because I know that it isn't the slightest bit of heroic, but it's just attention seeking... (with this I mean the pretending part, not the part when you accually have  a mental disorder!)
Yeah, whatever. Sorry for this long babbeling, but I think I just had to tell you. Please answer! :D
bye
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well I'm glad you don't do it anymore. And I hope things are going well with your therapy (I'm assuming your in therapy since you have a psychologist) anyways ya. (:
Thanks for the comment (:
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:iconjaquina:
Jaquina Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
thanks for answering my comment and for wishing me luck! :D
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:iconokitakehyate:
Okitakehyate Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014
Honestly I was one who used to make light of such things and wish to put labels on myself in my younger days when life was carefree and sheltered I had nothing to stress about and just wanted attention... but then later on when my quiet little shut-in life went from so calm it could make a sloth yawn to being full of stress I discovered what it truly was to go "insane". In my 20s I fell in love and my mom who'd always been a sweet woman, but very clingy became bi-polar when I started to show him more love then I did her and triggered feelings of jealousy and I struggled at 1st from the outside with her irrational mood-swings that made it hard for my boyfriend to be around her and by extension me... and it took a year for her to stablize somewhat and accept being 2nd-fiddle well enough to stop being overly critical and insulting twards him on her bad days, but during that time I was worn thin myself mentally from dealing with her because I took every insult to my love as personally as if it were aimed at me, and half-way threw that year I met my future mother-in-law from hell who was 20 times worse towards me directly and my being subjected to psychological tourture 2 ways at once mentally damaged me in ways that opened me up for frightening experiences I never knew the likes of before as my mind unraveled giving way to the illnesses that had slept dormant below the surface.

This is for anyone who's divided their consciousness into alternate realities and alternate personas:

I know how it feels to try explaining to an insulted pen-pal in a state of disbelief at my "insensitivity & selfishness" that I wrote two letters one on paper regaling the places I'd been and things I bought and and did and suffered threw, and one within my imagination replying to all her questions and emotional needs with sensitivity and sympathy and praise only to send the real letter without the imaginary one thinking they were both on real pages because the desk and pen and paper in my mind just seemed so real to me.

She doesn't get it and thinks I'm just making excuses.

I know how it feels to try to comprehend how I could clearly remember having handled, passed around, and looked for things in a purse and then search desperately for it only to call my mom and found out I'd left that very purse at home and wonder what I was remembering.

Everyone wonders why I am on the brink of panic, hyperventilating and questioning my mind.

And I know how it feels to walk through life feeling as if your sleep walking until someone yells at you for something you don't remember and hurt and confused like you've been slapped awake; and how it feels to ask "what did I do this time?" and try to apologize for it and set things right.

I try to make promises I'll do better, but I know I cannot keep them because it isn't up to "me"... Only my apathetic side knows when they will let me feel for my friends, keep me numb and quiet in the dark, or force me to endure pain they could have spared me of, but they don't care.

And for anyone who has psychotic thoughts I know how it feels to want to hurt or kill your own mother or future mother-in-law and struggle to keep yourself from acting on that desire everytime you bicker with them and how it feels to have screaming flailing night terrors about beating them half to death with your bare hands.

I fear that I am a monster within and must keep myself locked up, within my mental cage of self-restraint.

In short I know what it feels like to be scared and confused and afraid of yourself and to not be sure of who you are or what is reality and what is a figment of my own mind. It's NOT a fun feeling and is one that most people do not "understand" AT ALL. 

Only my fiance truly gets it and sympathizes with me and that is something I am blessed to have and do not take for granted... And he only understands me because he is like me and we've agreed that we'll get threw this together.

People may think that I am a poser merely seeking excuses for myself, but I am for real. I am sane enough to know that I am a mental-case, but too far gone to ever fix myself alone. If it is a lie then I am truly brainwashed, because I myself believe.
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:icondarksapphiredrop:
darksapphiredrop Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014
That's really hard. I hope Marie people get you... I know I would be one of the people yelling when I'm in a hurry or something, but please don't take it too hard... We know that you're struggling, and that its confusing. If they don't know, tell them— I'm sure most people will understand and try to help. :)

It would still be hard but you can talk to people, like here— and we care, even if we don't really know you that personally. :)
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:iconokitakehyate:
Okitakehyate Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Marie people? Is that a typo? Did you mean to say many?

^^; thanks anyway I appreciate it.
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:icondarksapphiredrop:
darksapphiredrop Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
Sorry, my autocorrect is a bit wacky if I don't get the right mistakes. :)
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:iconokitakehyate:
Okitakehyate Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
I've had autocorrect issues before too.. one time I texted my fiance "ate you out of work yet?" when I meant to say "are you out of work yet" & another time I meant to say "we might have to do that the way things are going moneywise..." but I forgot to put a space between way and things & "waythings" got changed into "playthings" which was awkward... lol!
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:icondarksapphiredrop:
darksapphiredrop Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
Ah, that is pretty awkward. O.o I hate writing weird names, because it always autocorrects it wrong...
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:iconokitakehyate:
Okitakehyate Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014
 Yesterday I tried to type "rain poncho" when I was telling him what to wear after checking the weather channel and it auto-corrected to "rain psycho" :rofl:
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:icondarksapphiredrop:
darksapphiredrop Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Lol! :) I wonder how that's going to work. Find a weatherman to sit on your shoulders?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That was so sad o:
If you ever need anyone i am here for you. I'm sorry your going through all of that. I hope things begin to look up for you soon.
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:iconokitakehyate:
Okitakehyate Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Thank you :hug: I hope so too... I have a feeling that things will once we have a place of our own together and don't have to deal with his mother anymore. My fiance says that we're not going to tell her where we live so that we will be able to pick and choose our interactions and limit them to phone calls, mail sent to a PO box and meet ups in church or someplace neutral and cut her out of our life all together if she doesn't straiten up... There's something wrong with that woman, she's the one who screwed up me and her own son mentally with her psychological torture... she also drove 2 of her daughters to run away from home and go live with guys and broke her youngest daughters spirit to the point of her becoming a shy, underachiever who lacks any sort of ambition or motivation and is easily discouraged and disheartened with life in general... I fear she might turn suicidal latter on.. Honestly I don't want her interacting with her own future grandchildren if she doesn't wake up and change.
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:iconrauhlthemlevi:
rauhlthemLevi Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i had to try so hard to not burst into tears while reading this in class...so accurate
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awwwuh don't cry. Thank you. Huggle! 
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:iconmistermonstarr:
Mistermonstarr Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like it. Thank you.
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No Thank YOU
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:iconcrazytigerartist:
CrazytigerArtist Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so true. Even though I adore British Television, sometimes people in the fanbases just don't get it. This really deserved the Daily Deviation because the message here is so meaningful. Lovely! Clap 
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Than you dear (:
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No words, the message here is perfect. Thank you for saying what needed to be said.

"There is nothing romantic about waking up
in a hospital bed after your fifth suicide attempt
with no one holding your hand.

No one will feel bad for you when you need stitches
because this time you cut too deep,
or when you have a seizure because you overdosed
...again."

Yes. Yes. Yes. So many times this.

That was me. And waking up after skin graft surgery, alone, again and again and again. There's no glory there, there's nothing deserving of romanticism, just pain in agonising waves -- and I don't mean the physical pain.

Alright, so there were a few words. ;)

Congratulations on your well deserved DD.
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankyou and I'm sorry to hear you went through that. I am here if you ever need anyone to talk to.
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you -- right back at you, too!

I am lucky enough to have found someone who understands who now stays by my side, and I've worked hard to overcome what I can in my mental illnesses, but I know not everyone is where I am now.
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:iconthehopeneverdies:
TheHopeNeverDies Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is absolutely amazing and I couldn't agree more--you said it perfectly and I feel this way a lot.  People who don't have mental illnesses and act like it's a beautiful thing really don't understand sometimes :\
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree 1000000000 percent. Thank you (: :hug 
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:iconthehopeneverdies:
TheHopeNeverDies Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!! <3
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:iconpipersmclean:
Pipersmclean Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student Photographer
This is amazing 
(The fangirl in me must comment the next part)
Why can't my life be a British TV show?! I've a tardis and sonic screwdriver  all I need is my doctor to save me
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankyou and agh I love Doctor Who.
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:iconpipersmclean:
Pipersmclean Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student Photographer
Same here I love it so much!!
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:iconsorrowstrange:
sorrowstrange Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
that was really movinf. do you know anything about the link between autism and ocd?
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:iconhecticharmony:
HecticHarmony Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No, I don't know much about autism, I know very little about that particular disorder and what I do know my best friend told me.
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:icondeadeyeddemon:
DeadEyedDemon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Student General Artist
This really deserved the DD. five stars. This is hands down the most inspirational thng I've ever read. I tip my hat to you, ma'am. Please, keep up the amazing work~
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